Have you ever commended somebody’s weight negatively unprompted, e.g., you gained weight? I suppose not. I bet, though, that you have done the opposite; you most likely commended somebody’s weight positively unprompted, e.g., wow, you’ve lost weight, congrats.
Most people will not commend you on something you’re not good at unprompted. They will do so for something you’re good at or even great at. This presents a great opportunity if you want to know the truth about anything you care about.
I have heard people commend me on my productivity and leadership skills. However, I have yet to receive praise for my networking skills. I might think I am good at it and have some decent skills, but I have yet to hear anyone I worked with ever commend me on that skill unprompted. If I care enough about my networking skills and want to be good or great at it, the best way to know the truth is to wait for people who see me network to commend me unprompted.
I find this a great way to know the truth without asking. Work on what you want to improve and listen if anyone will commend you on it. If nobody does, then you’ve got work to do.
I take pride in being a great, not just good, people manager wherever I work at. I read articles, books, talk to other great managers, and always try to learn and improve. However, I never ask others to tell me if I am a good manager. Instead, I wait to see if others are commending me on this skill unprompted. When they do, I take the opportunity to ask questions and find out why they say that so that I do more of it.
In which area do you want to know the truth? Just work on it and see if people commend you unprompted.
