Growing up, most of us are taught to compare ourselves to others.
Most educational systems are guilty of putting us in a box where our grade is the only thing that matters. It’s as if our entire year is distilled down to a single number. It doesn’t stop there, though. This continues into one’s professional life in most cases.
Therefore it’s normal to compare ourselves to others, and it often happens unconsciously. A few years ago, though, I had a personal revelation: what drives me and what I consider success is completely different from what drives and defines success for anyone else around me. Seriously, I mean every aspect of my life: family, finances, fulfilment, marriage, health, and career. I found this to be true for many people who are close to me once I got into deep conversations. So then I asked myself why we continue comparing ourselves to others. It’s like comparing apples and oranges. Yet we still hear these types of comparisons from friends, family, and the society at large, e.g. “He’s already running a successful business”, “she’s got three kids”, or “They purchased a house”. It’s as if our definition of happiness relies on a never-ending comparison. It reminds me of what Montesquieu said 275 years ago,
“If you only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished; but we wish to be happier than other people, and this is always difficult, for we believe others to be happier than they are.”
Refuse to fall into the comparison trap. When we compare ourselves to others, we’re always going to lose. Comparing ourselves to others is like trying to win a race against Usain Bolt while wearing high heels. It’s pointless and frustrating; we’ll never come out on top. We all have unique talents, strengths, and weaknesses, and comparing ourselves to others only distracts us from our own journey. Because at the end of the day, the only person we should be competing against is ourselves.
