When to Push Through the Pain and When to Let Go
In my 20s, I followed a martial arts course. My martial arts teacher introduced me to the motto:
Follow the pain
In one lesson, I faced a fellow participant in a friendly game. At some point, my opponent locked me up in a wrestling move that I couldn’t get out of; I tried to unlock myself, but it was impossible. The only way out was one giving me a lot of pain, and it was precisely the point where my opponent locked me up. Eventually, I gave up giving the signal to my opponent to let me go.
After the friendly game, my martial arts teacher shared with me the words ‘follow the pain.’ To exemplify it, he asked the opponent that had just beaten me to lock him up precisely the way he had locked me up and challenged him not to let him go. Then, my martial arts teacher followed the only way out, the one that seemed impossible to me. He did that in under 30 seconds. His opponent was shocked as well. All students were shocked. Then he repeated to me and everybody else the motto ‘Follow The Pain’ and then he continued to explain that in situations where the opponent has locked you up, there are two ways out of it: give up and stop enduring the pain, or follow the pain and unlock yourself precisely the way that seems impossible.
I only thought of this motto years later during some challenging times. There are situations in one’s life where following the pain is worth it; it could be work we do that we care about, a dream we are after, or stuff we do for someone we love. Sometimes, though, the pain is not worth it. For example, instead of focusing on ten big things in your life, you want to focus on three. So, following the pain for the other seven makes no sense.
One recent thing I took such an approach is exercise. When I jog, I don’t care about the pace; I don’t have a goal. I exercise for the health benefits. It is not worth ‘following the pain.’
Therefore, I often ask myself, Is X worth it to follow the pain? and then act accordingly.
